“I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS”

That is, it

That is, it. Finally, my world shattered into a million, no zillion pieces.

I do not know how to react or what to say. My mind and body have stopped processing. My entire system has shut down.

Nancy held my hand and did Something, maybe made me sit Somewhere.

I do not know how much time has gone, and I am still sitting here.

Again, I felt Some movement around, but I do not know what was happening. It feels like I am frozen.

I could hear Some mummers, but nothing was clear, and my vision was blurry. Why cannot I hear anything or see anything? I guess I need a doctor.

I felt a shake in my body. First, it was slow, and then it was too strong, like Someone wanted to hurt me. Now I was looking here and there to see where I was, and I guess I was at the cemetery.

I saw a coffin in front of me and saw my Granny in it.

Why is granny sleeping here?

And finally, my mind started processing,

She is bidding me her last goodbye.

She is no more with me.

She is leaving me forever.

I officially became an orphan.

I went towards her and opened my bag, took out the gift I got for her and kept it near her.

I felt Some snowflakes on her hand and looked up.

It is snowing

I touched her icy hand for the last time,

“Merry Christmas Granny, See, white Christmas as you like,” I said with a smile on my face. I know how she used to get happy like a kid seeing a white Christmas.

“I shall see you on another side hopefully Soon till then rest in peace and say my Hi to Grandpa and Mama.” Leaving her hand, I let her go.

It is late in the evening and I was standing at the same place, looking at the whole cremation process. Everyone started going. I felt a hug; I guess it was Nancy.

She said Something, but I do not know what. She opened my hand, put Something on it and closed it again, and left, I guess.

I look around and find only myself and my Granny.

I sat on my knee and said, “So finally you also left and made me officially an orphan, han?”

“You were the only family I had and now god has to snatch that too” After saying this I started laughing like a maniac.

“Granny, can you do me a favour? Can you ask God what sin I have made to get this life?

Why does happiness never knock on my door?

You are the only one I had, and that is also gone.

Granny, I also want to come to you. I do not want to live here alone.” I look at her tomb.

“I never tell anyone but I get scared alone granny please do not leave me alone like this please granny, please.” Finally, tears started flowing from my eyes. I weep in pain. The pain was So strong, as if thousands of needles were pricking in my heart.

First Mama left, then Grand Pa now you.

Am I that bad?

Why did no one want to be with me?

Why does everyone hate me?

Tell me, granny?

I cried for a long time.

I hugged her grave; I felt like I was hugging her. I Sob like no tomorrow, my eyes, my body, and my heart was paining like anything.

My eyes started getting heavy, and I was feeling sleepy finally.

I felt Someone shaking me, saying, Miss? Miss?

But I do not want to hear anything or anyone anymore. I want to sleep with my granny. I want to sleep here in her embrace.

This is my peace.

Finally, I fell into a deep slumber.

******

I got up with So much headache and my body aching like a bitch.

I sat on the bed holding my head and yesterday’s event came in front of me and I again got teary eyes.

I started laughing and said, “Good Morning Orphan.”

Well, this is my new reality and you cannot run away from your reality. Can you?

I felt Something on my left hand and I opened it and saw a pendant. It is my Granny’s.

She used to wear this, and I used to love this beautiful tear-drop diamond pendant.

She used to tell me she will give it to me one day.

I closed my palm again and cried my heart out.

I do not know how long I am laying in the same position on the bed.

Finally, I got up and saw that it was evening.

I went to the washroom to take a shower.

After a shower, I made my coffee and sat in the same place again, and started looking outside.

I felt Some movement and looked up and found Anna giving me the same creepy smile.

“What you want Anna?” I was not in the mood, So I came straight to the point.

“Oh, nothing mam I just came to check on you,” She, said in one go.

She has Somewhere started getting on my nerves. Before I said anything, I again heard the irritating voice.

“Aunt Anny, can you please make Some coffee? My whole body is aching.”

 “Why she has, to come down all the time”? I look up and she was wearing an extremely short nightdress and I can see lots of marks on her neck, or at least say love bites.

Well, I might not be experienced, but it does not mean I am stupid. Romantic novels have given me enough knowledge.

Please make double-shot black coffee for Sean and my expresso. I am sure he must be tired, too.” She said while playing with the belt of her nighty.

“Oh, my god, what happened to you on your neck darling,” Anna said in her fake concerned voice.

“Oh, come on aunt now do not tell me you do not know what it is,” She, said while making a shy face.

And that is it, I lost it.

I said, “Anna, thanks for your concern, but I am fine. You may leave now. And you, next time if you see your bloody face in my area, I will take out every plastic that fits in your body nicely. Now get the fucking out of here both of you” I give them killer look and saw them running towards the staircase.

I again look outside “So my dear husband has all-time for the world but he cannot even ask me about my Granny.

Because I do not believe he does not know about her demise. There must be big headlines in today’s news.

So, when I was crying, he was enjoying this piece of shit. Well, but again, why this expectation? We have no relation between us.

I guess this is it.

This is the last nail of my patient.

I picked up my laptop and made the arrangements and packed my stuff. As I am always home, I need no extra clothes, So I have a small bag and my laptop bag.

I recheck all my important stuff in case I am forgetting Something, but no, all done.

I sat on the Sofa and closed my eyes, so finally, that is it.

Opening my eyes and taking the pen and paper I wrote...

Dear Mr. Sean Hudson,

I hope you are doing well.

First, I would like to thank you for giving me this beautiful shelter. I would be grateful to you for my whole life for this.

I know life has not been fair to you and you must get married to me unwantedly. Today I am freeing you from all the burden of this marriage thing.

I am leaving for my further studies. I have Some dreams and I want to live them. I hope you understand.

I want to make my Mama, grandpa, and Granny Proud.

Here is my email address. Please send me the Divorce Papers here. I shall sign them gladly and send them to you back.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.

PS: By the way, I have bought a Christmas gift for you. Hope you like it.

Take care.

Regards,

Sarah Rose

I folded the letter and put it on the nice cover with his Black Card and kept it near the Christmas tree with his gift.

I looked around this place last time. It has many memories of my lonely days and nights.

Finally, bye-bye America. I hope I never see you again.